I can’t escape you.
This is me, a hopeless romantic girl
Right after 9 years, right after ignoring my own condition.
Someone’s coming. He didn’t bring anything luxurious. Just few words with much “relate” illustration and painting of life.
I tend to ignore anyone yet he can make me listen. Make me think clearly.
I am figuring out what was that, recently.
I only feel a different feeling. I don’t know what it is. It is not a happiness, sadness or confusion. It just a strange feeling that increase everyday.
Everyday I think about his jokes, His experience and his advices. The more I think about it, the larger smile I got on my face. I admire Him.
I don’t have any reason but I just admire him.
Too afraid of translating it into a clear definition since I cannot find me-my own self in front of him. I just lost my words, my ideas, and my personal image, BUT I can be what I am exactly arround him.
I can ask anything I wanted to.
Slowly, I recall this feeling. I cannot find the same “exact feeling” like this.
I never ever wanted to define this. I decide to keep this secret inside me because I know that He cannot again advice me, tell me his story or even listen to my random story, ideas and opinion anymore when he know “It”.
Although I know I cannot translate this feeling for you, I know that your story keep inspiring me. Your struggles in life keeps motivating me. My insecurity of losing you keeps me saving this feeling secretly.
I wonder if I can always be there, next to you.
Listen to everything you share. Then, Ill let you listen into mine.
I hope this doesnt last forever. I hope you can just ignore my feeling so that you won’t leave me.
Thank you for awakening that “dead feeling” in my heart.
